You're definitely closer, but the top of the e is a bit subtle. How do you feel about coloring the letters beneath the stroke? We like the telegraphing of the bridge as well as the idea of disruption. I would welcome your ideas.
We like this very much, but would appreciate it if you could explore it a bit more. What we'd like to fix is the initial impression that it's a slash or an ink misprint. Can you consider making it feel more positive? Perhaps a gradient, shadow or fill? Thanks.
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