I'm not sure what color the type face is in entry #22 but like the color in #21. On both, I don't really like the "FC" that you did..it's too distracting from the text. Maybe not so thick? Also, the tag lines don't really appear at all in the size shown above, so I know they won't in letterhead or on a business card.
Yes...I like how it looks but am guessing it's going to be hard to reproduce in a small format like a business card. To get the small white space to show up properly will be difficult.