By far, the most intricately conceived entries thus far. So much so, that it's taken me longer than it should to feed back.
My initial take was that the graphic, although spot-on in its meaning, was too intricate for this application. However, given the effort that you obviously put into it, and the exceptional quality of the past work in your portfolio. I had to second-guess myself to be sure I wasn't being too simplistic in my approach.
So, I delayed in wait for opinions from two trusted associates. As it turns out, both agree that it is a little too high concept for what we are trying to do here.